Dear Laura,
Congratulations. You seem to have acquired eternal fame. So here I am, writing you for advice against all of my inner voices. There are many. I, unlike much of your fanbase, am your age, and I am hurting. I had a relationship with someone starting in Oct. of 2001. He was 20 at the time, and had never been in a serious relationship. Before I met him, he was bordering on obese. Then he lost 120lbs, and worked out regularly. I met him when he was at his prime. We immediately hit it off, and started spending excessive amounts of time together. I fell in love with him, and thought all was well. It wasn't.
In June of 02', we had a very long fight. He said many, many hurtful things to me, and I let him see me cry, which doesn't happen often. The fight climaxed with him telling me that I had no personality and I wasn't mysterious enough. We decided to remain friends.
The problem lies in the fact that he will not let us be just friends. This was his idea. He continues to give me false hopes. I think he may just like the attention, but he keeps insisting on treating me like his girlfriend still. He worries too much about other peoples opinions on him, and he freaks out every time someone asks him when we are getting married. He gets very upset that his family still accepts me with open arms on every occasion. I have done everything to get him to stop treating me like his girlfriend, but nothing seems to work. We got in an argument last week, and he told me I had no personality still, but I was fun. This is just an example of how confused this man is. Being fun totally negates having no personality. I apologise for the length of this pathetic sob fest. I am just getting sick of it.
Thanks for the time.
-Lead in all directions.
dear lead in all directions,
let me get this straight. you had a relationship with someone. he broke up with you on really mean terms, treated you like shit, and you decided to remain friends and you're still friends? and you let him get away with STILL treating you like shit? holy crap, that sucks. and you need to get a clue and stop. this person is not good for you. this person is detrimental to your well-being in life. he's mean, confusing, disrespectful, and he used to be fat. just kidding about the 'used to be fat,' even though that probably factors in as one of his issues. maybe he was rejected and treated poorly due to his weight earlier on in life, and grew up to be a complete bastard to you.
anyway, he's not your friend. friends do not tell each other they have bad personalities. case closed. dismiss him from your life, as much as it may hurt, because it will be better for you later on.
im single for nearly 6mths. i still loved my ex. our break up was so weird? nothin happen durin that 4mths together.. totally no quarrels.. nothin.. fun, sweet.. just out of a sudden, he said maybe we shld just b friends. my reply was ok. n i left without askin why. i was "too cool" there were no 3rd party. there couldnt be no feelings.. just want to know, what do u think i should do? tell him how i still feel? or any better ideas?
-some 19y old chinese girl...
dear some 19 y old chinese girl,
what should you do? you should ask him what happened, that's what. how could you let him get away with a breakup for no reason? you should have demanded to know the real root of the issue. now it will be awkward, because so much time has passed. but ask anyway. that's the only thing you can do. maybe it will open a dialogue that will result in you getting back together, even. who knows?
I'm curious. do you actually hate, loathe, & despise livejournal, or do you just hate the icky 12-year olds on it? because, the 12-year olds, understandable, but..
-Alice
dear alice, first of all, hate, loathe, and despise all mean the same thing. it wasn't necessary to use all of them. second of all, i don't say anywhere that i hate livejournal. i also don't say anywhere that i hate the 12 year olds on it. you made an assumption. to assume is to make an ASS out of U and ME. (hee. i learned that phrase in 9th grade and it still makes me laugh). you made me an ass. anyway, i have a livejournal. i just don't have it linked on this site because i prefer to keep a smaller group of readers there. namely, my friends.
This girl is trying to kick my ass and i dont want to because if i get in a fight 1 more tim i will get exspelled
- victoria
dear victoria,
so don't. if she hits you, just stand there and get hit for a few minutes and watch her get expelled. you sure can't stand to be expelled, seeing from your spelling of that word and also "time."
is fifteen too young to lose ur virginity? i think i really love the boy and we've been together since sixth grade. he cheats on me but i think it's okay cuz he always comes back to me. he made me have sex last night and i really liked it. am i a bad person?
-stephanie
dear stephanie,
no, you're not a bad person, but you are a dumb one. he 'MADE' you have sex? and you 'LIKED' it? it pains me to see those two sentences together. that's what perpetrates the nasty rumor that women like to be raped. crap. you're also dumb because he cheats on you and you take him back. have you any self-respect? now that you're having sex with him, he'll probably have sex with other people too, and bring back some nasty diseases to share with you. i don't even know how to help you. you probably won't listen to anything i say. but no, you're not a bad person. or maybe you are, but if you are, it's not because you had sex at fifteen.
I have a crush on my best guy-friend. however, he has a girlfriend and has had one for almost 6 months. we constantly hug and kiss (he's never kissed his girlfriend) and everyone says we would look good together. i really love him... but i'm reluctant to tell him and wreck our exhisting relationship, especially because he has a girlfriend. can you help me?
-L
dear L,
i can't get over that there is a couple that has been together 6 months and never kissed. your friend obviously likes you, and i bet he knows you like him too. seeing as though you kiss. newsflash: people don't kiss people unless they like them at least a little. where is your friend's girlfriend in all of this? does she hate you? my advice is to tell your friend to stop hugging and kissing you unless he breaks up with his girlfriend (who he obviously doesn't like too much, seeing as though they've never even kissed). even then, i wouldn't recommend dating him... i wouldn't date a guy after i knew he kissed another girl while he had a girlfriend.
I have this friend, and her name is Haley. She insults my music, plays mean jokes on me, and is can be such a bitch at times. She assumed that I liked a bunch of random bands and started making fun of me for it. I didn't even like the bands! To make it worse, every one at school likes her better than me, because she is pretty, has good clothes and is loud. If I'm mad at her she'll make everyone hate me. What should I do? Oh my God, I sound so dumb. Forgive me.
-Keri
dear keri,
that's rough. try to slowly distance yourself from her and get closer to other friends. either that or just wait around for high school (somehow i can tell you're not in it yet) and she'll get acne, clothes won't matter as much, and loudness doesn't get you anywhere. oh wait, maybe that's college. hm. sorry.
i was born in 1984 and go to college. I listen to "college rock" from the 80's like XTC, the Smiths, the Pixies, the Cure, etc...and I also emulate generation X by being directionless. Current music makes me laugh but i don't really get into it. I love reading gen X literature. Am I an out-of-date poser? How can I claim my true generational identity?
-Emiloo
dear emiloo,
generational labels were invented by the media as a marketing tool to try to make demographic groups easier to analyze and thus sell to. the labels oversimplify and their main goal is to instruct people as to which brands they are supposed to like, which stores they are supposed to frequent, which beverages they are supposed to drink, which lifestyles they are supposed to enact, etc. really, ignore it. i was born in 1981--basically at the cusp of generations x and y--and i don't really identify with either. genX literature is great. i love douglas coupland.
archives
thanks diaryland