Dear Eleanor Roosevelt,
#1. Freddy -smokes alot of pot. knows that I like him subconsiously,
but I havn't told anyone. only acts like a gentleman when I insist, when
I'm depressed or sick, or when we're alone. flirts with me alot. likes
some girl named Arielle, who already admitted that she likes him.
nicknamed Arielle 'Blue'. knows that I hate nicknames that aren't for
practicality. is probably going to be Arielle's boyfriend by Monday. knows
nothing of politics. is a freshman with me.
#2. Roman - knows that I don't like him much, but pursues me anyway.
has a really bad bleached hair accident/dye job. looks like something
peed on his hair. honestly. that's the color. has really bad pimples.
nicknamed me Mouse because 'I'm so shy'. doesn't know that the reason I'm
so shy around him is that if I let myself talk to him, I'd probably have
a case of word vomit and cuss him out. doesn't know that I hate
nicknames like 'Mouse'. hugs me alot. tries to be heartfelt and corny, which I
despise. also knows nothing of politics. is a sophomore.
#3. Steven - has no sense of humor. is dreadfully attractive, except
for his hair. has ridiculously thick wavy hair down to his shoulders that
he wears in a ponytail sometimes. ponytail. pfft. is a junior. likes to
be two inches away from your face when making conversation. whispers
'Damnit!' under his breath when he gets nervous around girls.
#4. Joe - is sexy. is beautiful. is bi-sexual. is obsessed with sex.
traced the outline of my face with his finger and told me I was sexy
right after being introduced to me. is unaware that I'm infatuated with
him. is hardcore-ish punk. has his head shaved except for one part; it
looks awesome. is as flexible as a... I don't know... yoga instructor? is
obnoixiously energetic. is going out with my gay freind Paul. is a
little feminine, but in a sexy way.
#5. Jim - is smart. is easy to talk to about almost anything. knows
alot about politics. is a democrat. loves South Park. makes pizza and
'wants to make me pizza when we're in college'. has a mole in his chin. is
made fun of by Freddy alot. is an alcoholic. brings hot chocolate on
the bus in the morning, but doesn't share it. is a pervert. is obsessed
with violent video games.
Ho hum. Which one is best?
-- = Jane
Hmm. I hate nicknames too, but I dislike the name Arielle, so think of it as he fixed her! I've been known to do that myself! Hahahaha. I can tell you the second guy is no good based on the first two sentences you wrote. #4 sounds good, even though he has a boyfriend. You like him best anyway. Maybe you could have a boy sandwich with #4 then start a relationship with #5. I like Democrats. Oh, no, I don't like him. #4 or stay single! -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Elliegator,
Two months ago, I had three wives. I only talked to two of them
regularly. Then I decided I wanted to marry this other girl, so we got
engaged. Turns out she didn't want me to have other wives. Shortly after
that, I found out my one wife was a Republican, so I divorced her
without hesitation. Then I had to divorce this other wife, who has always
been nice to me and appreciates my guitar playing. She didn't take it so
well, and I felt bad about it. Then my fiancee told me she didn't want
to marry me anymore. At least I never got around to divorcing my other
wife, who was my first wife, and the I see most often.
I wouldn't have lost my nice wife had my ex-fiancee not tricked me into
it. Now I have but one wife. What should I do?
-- = Timi
You should be happy with the wife you had. Your fiancee did you a favor by getting a Republican out of your life. Invite your remaining wife over every day to listen to metal. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Is laura going to be writing any more poetry or prose?
-D.
-- = dasha
Yes. She recently finished a story about God and red snow and is moving to New York next week where she will write a lot more. She has had writer's block for a while, but now she's writing another story about little boys. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I dont think my boyfriend will ever get a job. should I leave
him?
-- =
It depends on why he won't get a job. If you want to marry him and be the bread-winner while he raises the kids and keeps house, that's fine. But if he's lazy, you should leave him. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
You are probably tired of romance questions, here's another
one:
I like a boy that I am friends with. I am not sure if he likes me. I
want to say something, but I am afraid that I will probably be rejected.
If he liked me, he would probably said something. Should I just forget
it?
s.
P.s Democrats rock!
-- = s.
For all I know, he wrote the same question to me about you and thought if you liked him, you would say something. You are friends with him because you like him and if you get rejected, you probably won't like him as a friend as much, so go ahead and risk it. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
My friend is LUCKY! She finds money, stuff on the ground. Now
the guy I like asked her out, ofcourse she said yes. Not to make it
worse, she dumped me out of her 'group'. wow, what a friend.
She makes fun of me, sticking her nose up in the air with Nick... I'm
depresses, what should I do?
-- = Dana
You should set traps for her and also you should poison her and make her listen to Dio. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
1. I think I'm in love with every boy that I see. I can't
have sex with all of them because that would take too long. What should I
do?
2. The boy that I'm in love with the most has a girlfreind, but he
say's he'll break up with her next week, but I doubt he actually will and
I'm losing my patience. What should I do about that?
3. I get really horny in public places and sometimes it's so bad that I
have to go home. What to do?
-- = Janet Mobilia
1. Use rubbers. 2. Start with the other boys you don't like as much. 3. Your first problem should probably solve your third one. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I love my best friend. I love him more than my own life,
than any ambitions, more than the moon, the sky, the earth, the
universe...he means everything to me, I would give and do anything for him. And
he reciprocates this same selflessness for me, but does not seem to
desire the romantic aspect I want. He sees me more as a sister than a
potential romantic option. Furthermore, he doesn't want to have a long
distance relationship due to experiences he's had in the past. I respect
his opinions and will not push the topic with him, but, I still wish he
could somehow feel the same, maybe if I could persuade him over time,
or something. Or at least I wonder if it's possible to purge these
feelings from my heart so I do not have to feel the pain of longing any
further. What do you advise?
-- = sera
Maybe he's gay. Long distance relationships don't work and he's wise to steer clear of them. You could fornicate with him sometimes but have no commitment other than friendship. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
How come my boyfriend won't talk to me when i'm at school? we
email a lot, but at school he just ignores me...
-- = Ellie
Maybe you're in sixth grade. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
My best friend that I have know for 5 years just got a
boyfriend. She constatinally talks about him and hangs around him. How do I
get revenge on her for ditching me for him??...also how would I get
revenge on him?
-- = frogleggs
Maybe the new-boyfriend effect will wear off soon. You probably can't get revenge and anything you do to try to separate them at this point will backfire. Your best bet is to invite them both to do things and try to make friends with him. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i'm not sure if i like this boy. we used to go out and i
broke up with him because i thought i didn't like him anymore. we still
talk everyday but i don't know if i still like him. he's asked me to go
back out with him a couple of times and i always say no. what should i
do? do i like him?
-- = nicole
To some people, going on dates is a way for people to find out if they like each other. You could agree to spend time with him and maybe even consent to kissing, but tell him you're not interested in any commitment until you figure out whether you like him. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I'm only fourteen, but I am very much in touch wth my
sexuality. Problem? I've been raised that sex before marriage is wrong, and
virginity is special. I would love to have sex with a certain guy,
and I know he would do it. Is losing it really all it's cracked up to
be? Or is being a virgin really not that important...
-- = Nikkie
Being a virgin is important if it's important. That sounds like circular logic, but it's true. If it's important to you, it's important. If it's not, you can have sex. There's nothing inherently wrong with having sex before marriage, but you have to be extra careful not to get AIDS or get pregnant. Teenagers who pledge to abstain from sex until marriage end up having pre-marital sex at rates equal to other teenagers (over 80% do, I think), but they are a lot less likely to use condoms. So think about whether virginity is special to you, whether you might want to hold off on having sex until later even if it's not, and then if you decide to have sex, use condoms. (Only 1 at a time. Putting a condom over another condom makes them more likely to break.) -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i'm going to middle school, and i don't know what they are
going to test me on, but i still want to get ready, what should i do?
-- = tiffant huang
Get a library card and read books. It will improve your vocabulary, expose you to good writing, and expand your mind. The single best way to get a high SAT score is to read a lot of books. It's more effective than memorizing vocabulary words because reading helps your ability to figure out what words mean from context clues. Read whatever books interest you -- fiction or non-fiction, classics or teen romance novels. You can read all of the above if you want. (I do.) Do this and you'll be set. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i am an awful cad. how do i stop?
-- = mn
It's the "stopping," that makes a cad a cad. A cad who doesn't stop is just a boyfriend. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
am in love with one of my best friends and i really dont know
what to do bout that. I tell him I love him. and I says it back to me.
I told him he was my true love once and all he said was really I think
he thinks am joking with him but am not. he also thanks am a little kid
which am not. what am I suppose to do?
-- = who cares
I think he doesn't love you back, or at least not in the same way you do. You should force the issue with him by kissing him. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
do long distance relationships work?
-- = `L
No. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I know you get a ton of these questions but you give such
good advice I wanted to ask you a question.
I like this guy. Lets call him "Fred". Well I was bored so I looked up
"FRED"'s phone number in the phone book. I found his number. I told my
friend this and she asked for his #. I gave it to her. About 15 min.
after I got off the phone w/ her she called me back. She told me she
called him. I was like "what the F-???!!!??? WHY?" She just laughed. She
told me that she told him that I liked him. She called me and said that
all he said was "I kinda suspected that" Well I was confused so I told
her to called him back and ask him if he likes me. She said that he
said "naw" By this point I am slightly confused (and I imangine you are
too...) Well we go back to school on Monday(I am in the 8th grade.) I
don't know what to do. It is probly going to be really aqward when I am
around him because I have to sit next to him in one of my classes. I
don't know if I should say anything to him or ask him about what happened
or just ingore him completly. What do you think I should do?
-- = anonymous
The issue is too big to ignore so turn to him and say "by the way, I don't like you anymore. I gave up." He can put whatever meaning he wants into that phrase. If he wants this really to be behind you, he can focus on the first part of the sentence. If he really is interested in you, he can focus on the second half and try to make you try again. If he tries to make you like him again with no intension of ever liking you back, he is a cad and you should avoid him. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I was subconsiously (really it was) avoiding my ex at school.
Then he started bugging me and our mutual friends about it and I
started to really avoid him. Now it's really uncomfortable. What do I do?
-- = -karen
Quit avoiding him a few times. Engage him in conversation, but make it so awkward and miserable that he will try to avoid you from now on. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I dated my best friend about 8 months ago. Even though we
broke up, we're still best friends. He still really likes me alot. My
problem is that since that time we dated, I haven't cared about anyone as
much, so everyone I like seems like nothing. What can I do to change
this, because it's annoying me.
-- = christene
You can start dating him again. If you both like each other, it makes sense. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Hi. My cat constantly pees in my room for no apparent reason,
and then she craps on her bed. What should I do?
-- = Artemis
Keep your door closed. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Why should I be democrat?
-- = Deb
Because you are female. Do you think you should be allowed to vote? Thank the liberals. If you are raped and get pregnant, do you think you should at least have the option to terminate the pregnancy? Personally, I think letting things grow inside my body is my own decision. Do you think that the government should balance its budget? Democrats are the party of fiscal sanity, while Republicans spend more and more while they cut taxes. Democrats think we can have an honest discussion about whether the government should be paying for welfare or paying farmers not to farm, but no matter what we decide, we should pay for it. Republicans reject the idea that there is any relationship between what a government taxes in and what it spends.
If you dislike terrorism (I do,) you absolutely must be a Democrat. Republicans think that there are only so many terrorists in the world and if we just kill them all, we'll be safe. Democrats realize that terrorists are made, not born, so you can't just kill them all off. Republicans think America is great because it is America and we live here. Democrats think America is great because it represents important principles like limited government, freedom, fairness, justice, and equality. Democrats will argue with you and have an underlying suspicion that they just might be wrong and are willing to be convinced. Republicans resort to "well, that's my opinion" and think it should be equally respected as fact-based judgments just because it is an opinion.
Black people can vote because of the Democrats. A lot of conservative Democrats were really mad about letting black people vote and so they joined the Republican Party, which welcomed them with open arms (see Barry Goldwater, "states' rights," Dixiecrats, and Nixon's Southern Strategy). Republicans think that only guilty people are charged with crimes. Democrats think that sometimes innocent people are accused and that's why we have trials. Democrats are against pollution, unsafe working conditions, and torture. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I have a boil on my neck and it keeps getting bigger and
bigger and it has a head and face and it looks like me, but its evil and
rude. It says rude things to my friends and they think that I'm saying
it! I can't eat without it critisizing me for being fat. My doctor says
that it's all in my head and it's just a stress boil, but stress boils
don't talk! Last night the boil told me that it was going to take over
my body and do evil things in my place. What should I do? When I try to
put boil cream on it, it bites my finger.
-- = Phil
Can you poop it and make it ooze pus? I love that sort of thing. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Dear Elanor,
I have a friend who, tragically, is a conservative economist(a
monetarist, in fact) and has made his voting choices based solely on his
economic issues. He is quite liberal with respect to social issues, thinks
that anti-abortion and anti-gay marriage laws are immoral, and was even
unhappy about the Iraq war, but he will not come to terms with the
current Republican social agenda. How can I convince this poor,
disillusioned fellow that maintaining our rights is probably more important than
maintaining the growth rates of the new paradime (since a lecture on the
benefits of socialized health care won't work)?
Sincerely,
-- = Andrew Broz
You're offering up a false choice because Democrats are not only right on the social issues but right on the economic issues as well. The Republicans cannot balance a budget and within a few years, the United States will look like Argentina circa 1997. The dollar is constantly falling against every currency that's not pegged to it (i.e. the euro and the yen). A currency that's worth less isn't necessarily bad (it helps American exporters, for instance), but a falling currency makes other countries want to think twice before buying up all of the debt we issue to finance our trade deficit. The willingness of the central banks in Asia to buy up dollars so that we can buy up all the good they produce keeps interest rates low, but there is evidence that they might stop doing that. (And wouldn't you? The bigger the trade deficit and the bigger the budget deficit, the less likely it is that China will get paid back the debt America owes it. And if it might not get paid back, it won't accept so many IOUs). Republicans are leading us straight into a fiscal disaster (and don't even get me started on Bush's plan to borrow $2 trillion to end social security), and you can make the case to your friend based on that. That Democrats believe in personal freedom is just icing on the cake. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
What is the easiest and quickest way 2 get back at ur ex best
friend?
-- = hahaha loser
If your mere hatred isn't hurtful enough, there isn't so much you can do. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
How do I stay happy?
-- = Marianna
Pretend that responsible Democrats are still in charge and ignore all sources of news that remind you that Bush and his screw-ups have power. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I was writing a research paper on Ayn Rand's "The
Fountainhead" and we had to write a preliminary thesis statement. However, I am
not sure whether or not it is grammatically necessary to include the date
of publishing in the thesis. Is it, or does it depend on the topic of
the paper?
-- = Liz
I don't know. I have an answer that is better than your answer though. It's about how to live life. When writing drafts, things don't have to be perfect. A draft is a perfect opportunity to submit something and ask your teacher which is the right way. If your teacher will deduct points from you because of it, it still doesn't matter. Are you there to learn how to write or are you there to get a 100% instead of a 98%? -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Dear Eleanor,
How can I beak the news to my 20 year old son that he is not welcome at
home anymore. He quit his job, lost his drivers license, lost his
wallet, wrecked hie truck( that I am now stuck paying for). Tonight he stole
a box of shotgun shells and took off. My husband says that is the last
sraw! I hate him to be homeless but I feel used!
-- = A. Rick
Hopefully your son just thinks it's ok to steal from you because you're his parents, because if he thinks it's ok to do this to anyone, then he's in for a lot of trouble in life. You should kick him out (but offer to help him with the transition) and hope he will feel worse about doing these sorts of things to other people than he does about doing them to you. What I mean by helping with the transition is offering him an extra table you might have or letting him take his bed with him to the apartment you're kicking him into. Do not give him money and don't co-sign a lease. If he can rely on you to bail him out, he will. Make him get an apartment somewhere where he can take the bus and then he won't need his license or his truck. Well, don't "make" him. The choice is up to him. If he wants to live in the middle of nowhere and be stuck at home, that's his choice. Offer him plenty of advice, but no money. He'll probably whine. Too bad. Tell him that he can take the support you're offering or he can do everything on his own. Either way he has to grow up. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
how is the best way to break up with a boyfriend that just
dosnt seem happy with u and u have been together for 2 years but u dont
wanna break his heart.. wait.. if hes not happy he shouldnt be hurt
right?
-- = colleen
Exactly. But if he's not happy, let him break up with you. If you're not happy, break up with him. When you break up with someone to do him a favor, you run the risk of ruining his life. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
will i ever solve the secret of human stupidity?
-- = Lost in idiots
I have found that humanity is not nearly as stupid as those who are semi-smart think. People who are semi-smart chalk up every mistake people make to stupidity, but smarter people can see a lot of reasons for those mistakes -- people lacked the right information, they are in unfamiliar situations, etc. Anyway, so what if people are stupid? As long as they're not hurting anyone (e.g. by voting Republican), let them be stupid. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Hi,
I am in a conundrum. Trying to figure out why boys are not,
apparently, interested in me whatsoever. I have no horrible physical deformities,
am funny and nice and quirky. I don't see any problems with myself
that others would shy away from me as a result of my having them. Friends
say that I am a good person and not too shabby looking. I dress well
and don't avoid showering and other grooming. It's just like I am
invisible to boys- especially the ones I like. How do I get a boy to notice
me? I've dated before, so it's not like I'm a newbie. I just need
some tips on snagging a cute, friendly and nice guy. How do I do it?
-- = Celeste
Boys might not see you in "that way." That might be because they think you are unobtainable or uninterested in boys. Maybe you like the type of boys who are shy. Worse, maybe you mainly attract the type of boys who are shy. What a fate! -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I dated this boy for 3 years and we broke up last year
because he wanted to "see other people". Anyways, ever since we broke up, he
kept telling me that he still really cared about me (he never did see
anyone else, but he did fuck some chick) and that we would get back
together. It's been a year, Eleanor, and we still have sex. Yesterday he
told me that he didn't want me to think that he still loved me. i asked
him what that meant, and he said that he has sex with me because we're
friends--nothing more, and that he doesn't love me. Can you help me
interpret this one, because none of my girl friends are helping me out.
thank you! By the way, we are both 18 if that helps you give a better
response, (and both democrats).
-- = Melissa
Figure it out? I think you should just believe him. He has sex with you because he likes to have sex with you, and he paid you the courtesy of telling you. If you don't want to have sex with someone in that kind of relationship, don't. At least you are informed and can make a decision. Once my column is influential, people will stop writing in with questions about what games they can play to trap a lover and will just be up-front and rational. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
dear eleanor roosevelt,
i am 18 years old and ive just started college, most parents of
people my age are happy that their kids are going to college. but not my
dad... he brings new meaning to the term cheap. seriously though if my
father could he'd recycle toilet paper. he dissaproves of me sepnding
money on going to college and calles me stupid for taking out student
loans to pay for college. what i would like to know is do i talk to him
nicely about why i want to go to college? or do i grab him by the arms
and shake him wildly and say im going to college and thats the end of
that? or do i simply hit him with a brick over the head and trow him into
a river flowing into an ocean?
-- = nearly violent arod
If you can afford to just inform your dad that you're going to college and that's that, that's an attractive option. Otherwise, you might want to convince him of its merits. Debt isn't inherently bad. If you are borrowing to make an improvement that will make the debt easier to pay off, it's a great investment. College definitely falls into that category. Taking out a loan to take a trip to Europe definitely doesn't. Look at the average incomes of college graduates compared to high school graduates. Look at people with advanced degrees too. There probably isn't a better investment you could make. Going to the most expensive school and paying for it all in loans isn't necessarily wise, but school loans aren't bad. Almost every company has debt. That's because it makes sense to borrow money if you can put it to a good use. College is a good use. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
dear eleanor roosevelt. I can't stop sniffing everything.
what's wrong with me??
-- = jasmine
You're curious. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I have this guy friend who has been going after alot of my
friends and I get the feeling hes kindof looking at me. Erlack a pongos
help!
-- = Poo
You should buy a talisman (a houseplant will suffice) and name it Ian (and pronounce it eyein') because he keeps eyeing you. That will ward him off. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
archives
thanks diaryland