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Should I attend NYU?

-- = Justine

Yes. You can drink a ton and never have to have a designated driver. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



My right leg is refusing to walk when I tell it to and is

continuously talking back to me. Please tell me what I can do to control

it FAST as I think my left leg is beginiinng to be influenced by it.

-- = michelle

You tell your leg "LESS TALK, MORE WALK!" Legs understand a good rhyme. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



It seems that i get really anxious when i'm around people i

don't know. It's a mixture of anxious nervousness and it makes me tense

up and feel really awkward and i sweat a lot. What is this? If you know

what would you do to help?

-- = Nervous Wreck

It might be social anxiety disorder. You should start taking some pills if you find some. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



You are so beautiful, Ellie. What are your beauty secrets?

-- = Saddam

Why thank you! Some skin care products try to say that we lizards have awful skin. Bah! I have terrific skin because I take a skin care potion every day at noon. It has vanilla pudding, fox blood, and corn flakes in it. I mash the corn flakes up in the blender first so I can sip it down. That keeps me looking and feeling and acting young. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Dear Ellie,

I have a problem. You see, I am quite beautiful. I am so beautiful

that whenever someone sees me they die. Their soul is so happy it

immediately joins with God.

That, of course, is not the problem. The population is high enough as

it is.

The problem is I have fallen in love with a blind man. And he has the

most tacky sunglasses ever. He also has superpowers, and every time I

try to switch them, he knows. HE KNOWS, ELLIE, HE KNOWS!

I cannot live with this.

What should I do?

Sincerely,

-- = Ashley the Beautiful

Try telling him you want him to switch them instead of just doing it. Tell him it doesn't matter to him how they look, since he's blind at all. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



My ex-Best friend is treated like a Teacher's pet at my

church! and i hate it! i'm not jealous, i just miss my best friend! her new

best friends are our college youth leadrs. and she treats me like crap

around them

-- = Sarah

It's sad when people can get all the way to college and not be able to see through suck-ups yet. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Should I name my daughter Medulla or Labia?

-- = CrazyCannibal

Medulla. It's more like Medusa and that's a pretty name. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



i am not social. it is very true. but for some odd reason,

people r attracted to me and always want me to go to the beach or the

mall and etc. they assume i want to go. i do not. it is not that i dont

like them, just that i dont want to go places. whatever do i do?

-- = justine

If there's somewhere you'd rather go, suggest that. If you simply don't care to hang out with these people, then don't. They might get mad, but it's no loss to you. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Where should I hide all the dead bodies?

-- = Sarah

In the Youghiogheny River. Unless you want them back some day. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Hello, how are you? I am grand. I am a 17 year old identical

twin, and i was wondering if you have any connections to getting us

into playboy? thanks a lot. oh, i only ask because you are such a sexy

beast yourself, and i am sure you have plenty connections!

-- = Melissa

Playboy won't put 17 year olds in. It's illegal. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



If you go to a party and become really sloppy drunk and you

have two very seperate kissing experiences would you consider this

slutty? if one was with someone for 1 min and with another person for 20

min?

-- = Stupid and drunk

Sometimes my friends go to parties and get drunk and have 1 very non-separate kissing experience with two different people. And that's not slutty. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Was is your favorite type of alcholic drink? And what do you

mix it with?

-- = Curious Chelsea

I love a well-brewed beer above anything else, but from time to time I also enjoy a mint julep. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



You seem to be quite an expert in all areas concerning boys

and other interesting topics.What is the best way to cure a hangover?

-- = Sarah

Drink a lot of water right before you go to sleep. Have more water next to your bed and then any time you wake up during the night (such as to pee), drink more. Dehydration causes a big part of the hangover. You can try taking aspirin too to help with the headache. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



How many times do you think a person can fall in love whole

heartedly?

-- = Nicole

If you're getting past three, I think you're pushing it. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Is there a way to make cum taste better? If so will you

please give me instructions on following this task out. Thank you.

-- = Tanya

The jizzer should avoid coffee and dairy products for about a day before. Meat too, but less so. Fruits are good. For your part, just try to get it down your gullet without touching your tongue. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



A lot of my friends are having sex. I'm worried that they

aren't being safe with their actions. I've expressed my concern for their

well-being several times. What do you suggest for helping them without

being a total bitch?

-- = Donna

Well if you bought them rubbers, they'd probably be safer. But it's ridiculous for you to buy them rubbers. Maybe asked Planned Parenthood to give you some rubbers so you can give them to your friends. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Dear Eleanor,

I have liked the same guy for over a year. The problem is that we are

relatively good friends. Everytime we come even close to going out he

backs off.. What can I do to make him more than a friend?

-- = anonymous

Act like you like another boy and see if he gets jealous. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



My friends are constantly bothering me about how i have never

had a boyfriend. I have tried to tell them that I'm a lesbian, but they

don't believe me and still are trying to set me up with guys. Its

incredably annoying. How can I be ... more lesbianish ...

-- = Maya

Listen to Ani DiFranco a lot. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



How do I know you're not just a stuffed animal and the person

writing the advice is Laura and you aren't just a lame gimmick?

-- = Skeptic

I'm obviously not Laura because I started writing the advice column when she was in Prague. If you've ever studied abroad, you know you don't have time to sit at a computer and write advice columns. I'm not a stuffed animal because WHO MAKES A STUFFED ALLIGATOR? No one. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Why do I found you so hopelessly attractive, Eleanor?

-- = Rebecca

Because I am! -- Eleanor Roosevelt



I wish I were smarter. Could you help me?

-- = Amanda

If you keep your mouth shut, no one will know you're dumb. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



It is 5:15 AM central time, and I am very bored. I cannot

sleep. Yay for me. Which is better, monkeys or fish? I can't really

decide, but it is fun to call people moneky face. They look at you funny. My

aunt has a cat named monkey face. Heh. Can caffine make you high?

-- = Okami Otome

Fish are better. But you would expect an alligator to say that. You can get a weird effect from caffeine. I don't know if it's high. It makes you very wonky. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



I'm scared. I'm scared because I'm taking 2 AP courses,

Biology and American History, and I'm afraid I'll get a 1 or 2 on the exams.

If I get that in American, then I'll still have to take the rest of the

course senior year, and I won't have any periods free so I can go

swimming in the yucky pool and finish my swims so I can pass gym class. If I

get that in Bio, then I won't get the credits for college and this year

will have been a total waste.

It's not like I'm not studying or anything, but I need some

reassurance. Thanks Ellie!!

-- = Delia

The history test is easy. I got a 5. If you pass the bio test, you should still probably take it in college (unless you don't want to take any more advanced bio courses). -- Eleanor Roosevelt



I Love this Boy Justin and I cant Talk to Him because We were

going out and One night His Friend stabbed My Stepdad and He was there

and now we cant talk and i cant stand not being with him i love him soo

much

-- = Whitney

Maybe that's for the best. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Hey Eleanor,

There's a person in my art class that I have a crush on, and we've been

aquaintences for a while.

The deal is: He's a senior, and I'll probably be leaving next year.

Should I try to start a relationship? Even a friendship?

-- = Arielle

I probably wouldn't, but you might find it valuable. Maybe that's why I have no friends. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



me and this guy have been 'hooking up' for a while, but

nothing else is different. I like his as more than just a physical thing

but I don't think the feeling goes both ways. So should I give up and

just continue with the physical gratification of our 'relationship' or

should I call it off, altogether?

-- = ashley

If you are using the physical to get the emotional, call it off. If you enjoy the physical in and of itself (but you'd just like it better if you got the emotional), keep going. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

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