Dear Ellie,

I have a boyfriend, and our relationship is great. We share common

interests like track, but he runs and I pole vault. There's an

upperclassman that pole vaults as well, and I think I have a tiny crush on him. Is

that ok that I like the upperclassmen? Or does this mean that I'm (in

some strange way) cheating on my boyfriend?

-Cake

PS: I love your site and I think you're hilarious.

You aren't very attractive. Do you date enough to give out

relationship advice?

hello.

ive asked many questions before. not entirely serious ones. but this

one i really need advice about. first of all, im pretty sure i have manic

depression. its not destroying my life yet, but it keeps trying to.

ive been sent to a shrink by my parents, and i went to see him twice a

week for a while. but i found that talking about my issues made it

harder for me to learn to resolve them on my own, so i stopped going. since

then, it has gotten worse, and ive gotten to the point where i cant

handle it on my own. i know that therapy wont help - it just doesnt suit

me as a person. i need medication, and hopefully as soon as possible,

before my life blows up.

the only problem is, my mother is strongly against medication for

mental problems. the shrink she sent me to before was specially chosen

because he refused to perscribe anything. she feels that pills are given to

people too often and that therapy is a far better solution. this may be

the case for most people, but im pretty sure that medication is the

better choice for me. i find it really hard to fully explain my problems

to anyone, though i try to express some of it in my online journal. no,

her reading it is not an option.

i feel like if i dont find a resolution to this problem soon, its going

to keep getting worse and im going to totally unravel. im a junior in

high school -- this is a crucial time for me. i cannot unravel now.

please help: how do i explain to my mother that her attitudes about

medication are harming me?

basically..it is this. i went out with my ec boyfriend

tuesday..and we went to the field. well, some field, im not exactlly sure

which one..anyways~we were there and we bagan to kiss...a lot, and we had

sex. now this si the first tiem i had eve odne it before, and he said

it was his first time too. now-i dont feel any type of different

emotions for him than i did befoe, except im kind of upset that he wont tak

to me. i just want things to be the way they were before. see-before we

would hagnout about every month and makeout and all that stuff, but it

was just fun, but sex is different..i mean-it is more serious, and i

sont wantt o be his personal whore. how should i put it bluntly that i

want it to be the way it use to be without pissing him off?

Let's pretend you love something, and are very good at it. At

least, you think you are...And you have the input of others that say

you are doing very well at your talent, too. You have big dreams. Would

you pursue your talent, even if it meant leaving everything you know and

love for a world where nothing is familiar?

I've been wandering the Black Land of Mordor for several days

with my friend Sam and a bald, annoying creature who is obsessed with a

piece of my jewelry given to me by my poor uncle who is now in the

captivity of the Elves of Rivendell and getting really old. Apparently this

piece of jewelry is evil and the only way it can be destroyed is by

throwing it into a volcano and getting your finger ripped off by your tour

guide. One of the Elves in Rivendell made me do it and he even pushed

me out his front gate. So I ran away from him and ended up here. While I

was here I decided that I should just destroy the jewelry and scoot

back to my hole as soon as I can. But recently, some rather dull and

witless creatures have come up and asked us about a hobbit with a piece of

jewelry. I can only assume that means me. How do I get these stupid

things to go away?

Hi, Eleanor. Once in seventh grade I wrote a report about you

and got a good mark. ^__^

I can't belive people are actually coming to you with their personal

problems. How on earth do you come up with such good advice for people

you don't know? Sometimes my friends ask me for advice, but they're my

friends and I know them for a long time.

Now to the advice part(because I need an outsider for this one): I'm

friends with lots of guys, and I talk to them about stuff and sports,

like football and baseball. I only got asked out once, but I was younger

and the guy wouldn't have been a good match anyway, and I haven't seen

him for five years. I didn't get uglier (at least I don't think so), but

I grew taller and as a result gained some weight so I don't look like a

bag of bones. What happened?

Thanks. Love your sunglasses, by the way.

There's this guy I like at school, and we always talk to each

other. Sometimes it seems like he feels the same way and other times it

seems like he is indifferent. I have one of those shy personalities and

can't get up the nerve to ask him how he feels. What the hell do I do?

It is a sad fact but i rely on guys to make me happy. I

haven't had a boyfriend in 7 months which is practically a record for me.

And i've had all these meaningless hook-ups that end up just making me

feel like shit. Where am i going wrong? I'm good looking, nice,

funny...and guys aren't interested in the long-term aspect of things. WHY?

Me and my ex boyfriend broke up about five months ago and i

am still madly in love with him, and so miserable, I cry non-stop over

him. I don't know what to do, should I let go or hang on. I ask him if I

should just forget about everything and he says "i can't predict the

future" or "its too early to say" and then his ex asked if they would

ever get back together and he just tells her to *f* off or

something..Kinda makes me feel like there might be hope for us but maybe not 'til

later on down the road. I sure hope so! What do you think I should do?! I

need some advice...BIG TIME, before I go cRaZy!

I feel like I'm living in the past. Hoping for past

relationships or things that used to be. What does this mean? It's either that

or i'm hoping for the future. I can't seem to be happy with the present.

What's up with that?

I fell in love with someone who doesn't know I love them, is

the best friend of someone who is in love with me, and I am most

definet does not even as much as like me.

Help?

i want to give my own advice but how do i do it for people

online like you?

my best friend of 10 years is moving to mississippi... i live

in florida... she didnt even tell me she was moving.. she just.. left

i've developed feeling for a friend of mine but when i told

her she rejected me but i can't stop thinking of her. any advice?

dear eleanor,

first off, i -love- your advice column. spectacluar spectacluar. but my

question is: is shat a word? i mean, is there a past tense of shit?

and if there is, is it grammatically correct to say, "the cat shat on the

sofa"? my friends and i have been wondering about this a lot lately (as

stupid as it may be, we have to know).

keep up the good work!

hi, peaple call me alot of names and most of the time I ignor

it ,but it realy gets to me because thats all peaple see me as. I mean

i'm prety smart. I give good avise too. it like some one comes to me

with a question i answer it. then two seconds later i might need help and

they won't help me!!!!!!! it makes me so mad please tell me WHY PEOPLE

ARE SUCH JACKASSES.

So I told my secretly gay editor I have a crush on him and

got let down pretty easily, but there's really no easy letdown. He told

me he thought I was a great guy, that he thought a lot of me as a

person (he said NOTHING about how good I looked), but that he couldn't get

involved with someone since he is probably moving after our graduation

(which is in about six weeks). Should I be taking this personally?

Does he really maybe need time/space? Is there a chance for us at all?

Have I hallucinated an entire history of chemisty?

hi. are there any exercises or stretches you can do to make

your boobs be perkier and rounder? thanks.

Sometimes, at night, I wet the bed! What can I do to stop

this!?

dearest ellie.

wye oh wye did i ever leave wyoming?

i am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. nearly. it is not as fun as

it sounds. i am ugly, stressed out and currently out of town due to a

gulit trip.

i cannot summon my thoughts and only read three pages in a book before

the letters become rain on the paper. my mind and my body are two

conflicting condradictive elements in my life. i contemplate suicide.

so...should i stay or should i go? it is all up to you. okay it isn't,

but i feel so helpless. and isolated (in my choices, i always seem to

do what people expect, but then i discover that their ways suck and do

it my way. hence, people hate me and my personal preferences, on which i

base my choices) that i do not know what to do.

listening to nin is not helpful. and you can only read depressing

confession-literature so many times.

should i kill myself or kill my so called friends and family.

humanity is a shameless whore.

i have a boyfriend who my best friend hates. she wants me to

break up with him, but i love him and he loves me. it used to be that i

was kind of out of attention and no one was mad at me and i was

miserable, and i think i like it better that way, but i dont want to hurt my

boyfriend, or me for that matter. what do i do?

I periodicly get so angry I black out. how do I remember

what happened during my blackouts?

Hey Eleanor, remember Beth? She's gone now. Well not gone,

but she leaves me alone now.

But there's this other girl, I'll call her Ann, and she's causing a

bunch of problems. It all started when she came to school in the middle of

the year. In the first week, she said she hurt her ankle. At first

everyone believed her, but after watching her switch legs 5 times in an

hour, we all kinda knew Ann was faking.

Then one day, we were playing kickball (Ann was fine then) and whenever

I went to kick, she would tell me how bad I was. So of course when I

went to outfield, I asked Ann what her problem was. She said "You," and

walked off with her mini fan club.

When she came back, she was limping and everyone, including Ann, seemed

to think that I had done something to her, even my teacher. I have no

idea what I did and I sorta want to know so I can either apologize or be

glad I did so, but she won't talk to me. What should I do?