navigate using the subway map. | all material copyright laura podolnick 1998-2005. | made on a mac.
your fortune:

hi about laura guestlog links advice about photography prose store quizzes mewlibs paintings poems friends pictures of me 1 2 3 4 mewing dot net come visit picture subway map

There is a guy at my school he is always talking to me and he says he

likes my friend but when he comes to my lunch table he sits by me and

talks to me!He often gets me in trouble with teaches and he never stops

talking to me!I think he likes me how to i get him to admit it?

-- = freya

Tell him to quit using you to get to her. If he really likes you, he'll be offended you think he's doing that. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Oh Magical Sage of Advice Column on Mewing.net, I pray to

thee for thy knowledge. Wouldst thou helpest me in my time of dire need?

Ye Olde Llama Farm, where I am currently residing, is about to be shut

down by evil hillbillies. They own the land and I rent from them. But

unfortunately, the llamas of Ye Olde Llama Farm are becoming old and

emaciated, ergo they are not producing enough llama-ness. Llama-ness is

the essence all llama-derived products are made from.

I am of a horrid confused disposition at the moment, and I beg that

thee might bestow upon me thy knowledge of the world. Should I train the

llamas into ninja-llamas, or should I find a new place to stay?

Yours,

-- = Billy Bob Lahmahlyker

Find a new place to stay. Llamas and ninjas don't mix, my boy. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



I dumped Beth and I made a few new friends. The only problem

is that they're also friends with Beth. She always comes up to us while

we're doing whatever and starts talking about the party I wasn't

invited to. Then I'll ask something like, "So what else did you do?" because

I'm being nice, then she looks at me like I'm something icky on the

bottom of her shoe and goes, "Oh, I forgot, you weren't invited (or "I

didn't invite you"). She also enjoys spreading rumors about me among my

new friends. Now what?

-- = Faodail

Quit being nice to her and when she comes over, inform her that no one there was talking to her. Or start inviting people places and pointedly don't invite her. If you can't beat her taking the high ground, take the low road. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



ellie, im hungry. we have no food. the nearest store is an

hour away and i can't drive. the neighbors hate me and would love to see

me die of hunger. my parents are out of town. what do i do?!?

-- = justine

Get a pizza delivered. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



A few months ago, my best friend started going out with my

ex-boyfriend. Now, keep in mind that I still liked this guy, and it made

me really mad, as I didn't think a friend should do that to me. Then

they broke up, because she felt bad about it and all was ok until about

a week later when they got back together. This time she decided that I

was a horrible person for not thinking that they should be together, so

she stopped being my friend completely until he cheated on her with

this girl who had 12 chins (I'm not joking, she really did!) and so we

became friends again. Then like 4 days later he asked her out again, and

she said yes. But she lied about it to everyone, and it really hurt me

when I found out. They eventually broke up because he liked this other

girl who resembled a tree (not joking on that one, either) and she

apologized and all that crap and we became friends again. It's happened

like 2 times since then again, and it really gets old. I'm neve

r going to be ok with this...is that normal, or am I just being a

selfish baby about it? And also, what should I do about this friend?

She's my best friend...but it's hard to trust her when she keeps doing

this...

-- = Amanda

The bad news is that your friend is awful. The good news is that he treats her like the jerk that she is. At least he's getting vengeance for you. Quit taking her back. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Eleanor, I have never had a boyfreind. I'm not unbearably

ugly, I don't smell bad, and I don't have any warts, beards or long armpit

hairs. I know for a fact that some boys like me, but I'm a little on

the shy side and so are they. The only male that really hits on me is my

uncle. I'm getting bored with pitiful thing I call my romantic life.

Help. Please.

-- = Hannah

Just you wait til you can be in alcohol-infused situations. A well brewed beer takes the shyness off everyone. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



dear eleanor, i have a small penis, what should i do?

-- = Arron

Fornicate only with ladies who have no experience with penises or men who have smaller ones, whichever you prefer. Some people are into small penises though, so you're in luck. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



i like this guy. and well hes very popular very liked and

what not ( but im not) everyone that knows the both of us is trying to

help except on of both of our friends he said i should give up on the guy

i like cause he has high standards, but then he said something about

him wanting to be on the varsity baseball team... which confused me. but

now i wonder should i go for it or should i forget about it?.. by the

way did i mention that i realy like this guy and both his friends and my

friends have caught him checking me out... plz tell me what to do oh

wise one

-- = a dragons baby

Go for it. A few years after I graduated high school, nothing I did seemed that important anyway. So a little shame now won't hurt you for long. And that's the worst case scenario. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



i think my friend jennol is lying to me about this guy named

brent liking me alot. she says i should ask him to tollo. i really like

him, and i THINK he likes me. but she tries to make people feel good by

telling them people like them wen they dont. should i ask him?

-- = robyn

Tell him "my friend jennol keeps telling me you like me a lot. is she making that up?" It's perfect. --Eleanor Roosevelt



i'm a good student in my class.i usually don't get in

trouble.my teacher gives me special privelleges.some of the girls in my class

doesn't really respect that and well they are kinda of my friends i

dont really know wat to do any more.

-- = miserable life

Don't take advantage of the special priveleges. You can be smart while still fitting in. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



dear ellie,

everybody seems to think that it is wildly unconventional to go out

with your friend's ex boyfriends,things like that. i happen to think that

is stupid, especially in high school where no relationship has ANY

substantial value. do you think that i am morally remiss? how should i go

about this issue.

-- = audrey hepburn

Some relationships have substantial value -- the ones with your friends. If your friends don't matter in high school, when do they start mattering? If you don't think a relationship with a boy can matter much in high school, why would you even think of putting it ahead of your friendships? I think you are completely morally remiss. I mean, go ahead and date your friend's ex, but only if you're prepared to lose your friend. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



hm should i really tell u? Hm. I dunno..... ok y the hell

not. My problem is that i dunno how to talk to...people. like... gilr

people..er girls. yea. i feel like a total loser

-- = josh

And for good reason. Read some teen fiction. You'll learn a lot about life. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



ok I am trying to start my own advice column at my college.

However, I have been informed that last year a girl tried to do the same

and was forced to quit because no one wrote in to her. Is it possible

that you can help me out. What does one actually do while writing an

advice column? Is it really really difficult?HELP please any advice you

could give me would be wonderful.

Sincerely,

Lost @ IVCC

-- = Shannon Rice

Here's how I write my column. First I open up Netscape and go to my Yahoo mailbox where these emails are forwarded. Then I open my livejournal client and copy them in and answer them. Then I copy them so they appear on mewing.net too. People just send me questions and I answer most of them. It's pretty easy to write if you're as smart as this lizard is. You might get more questions if you have a narrower topic that deals with some expertise you have. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



if a chicken had lips would it whistle?

-- = shmee

Some would, some wouldn't. Chickens are just like people in that way. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Hi, Eleanor. I'm writing to you because I have the stupidest

problems in the world. I'm so ashamed of them that my fear of being

mocked has reduced me to anonymity and apology. My other problem is that

everybody at my new school reads mewing.net. No one has ever mentioned

it, but I can sense it. Everybody is political, everybody has a rather

sardonic manner, everybody knows what Publix is (even though everybody

lives in New York!), everybody has aspirations, everybody dyes their

hair, everybody is gay, everybody likes cats, everybody is interested in

the pretensions of everybody else, everybody eats plastic, everybody

does weirdness. I enjoy it. Except when they insult Cher. That's just

mean. My school's apparent knowledge of your site makes me sad because your

site is supposed to make me special. There are lots of teenagers in

this world, and lots of them visit mewing.net, but there are supposed to

be a limited number of teenaged visitors who can ask Eleanor, with

politeness and the casual dignity of a peer, what to do to remedy

their misery (even though they are awkwardly verbose at times, due to

hormones and oily foods) without making her vomit in her creek. If I am

right about my school, there are now at least nine hundred of those dopes.

Geez! And my other problem is that the boy forgot about me. I don't

even like him. I just want to exist to him. I cut off all my hair because

his apathy made me sad.

Also I am overwhelmed by the symmetry of life.

-- = Sorryfordepressingyou

That's a rather good problem. It makes me feel popular. You are the tops at your school though because you're the only one who has had a question printed in my column (to my knowledge). I can't believe they'd insult Cher though, hussy though she may be. If you cut off your hair, I bet the boy noticed you. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



this girl likes me and i used 2 go out wit her but all ove my

frends took piss out ove me 4 goin out wit her.so shud i go out wit her

again or not .n i do still like her but i like this 1 other person more

-- = danial ward

Go out with the person you like more. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



my boyfriend is in love with me,but im not in love with him,i

miss my ex terribly! do i tell him the truth?

-- = lea

No, but you should still break up with him. Just tell him you don't like him anymore and you're not sure why. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



I broke up with my boyfriend, but now i want to get back

together with him! We remained good friends, but now he doesnt want to get

hurt again and refused to have a girlfriend right now. I really like

him and wish to be more then friends. Please help!

-- = Perrin

I can't help. I think you deserve it. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Eleanor-

What is the very best way to get revenge on a cheating boyfriend?

-- = Eleanor Rigby

AIDS - Eleanor Roosevelt

 

archives

previous - next

thanks diaryland