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I have a problem, Eleanor. I am a masterbate-a-holic. I

masturbate 24/7, with anything I can find. Some people go to church to pray,

I go because I get to wear a dress and that makes it easier to use a

dildo. I hump chairs, use cucumbers as dildos and anything else that

satisfies me. Lately I've found that NOTHING satisfies me. I've tried

everything. Please help me, Eleanor. What form of masterbating do YOU use??

-- = ~*~Allie~*~

Back when I had a sexual appetite, I didn't masturbate. I FUCKED! Have you considered that? -- Eleanor Roosevelt



dear ellie, i have a headache. my hair is too flat lately. i

have a nosebleed. i don't want to go to work tomorrow. help.

-- = laura

Aspirin, mousse, kleenex, marry rich. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



what do i do about my chronic masturbation problem?

-- = can't stop

The strange thing is that you are either a different person from the first one or you learned how to spell. Anyway, if you can't stop, at least harness your sexual appetite to get something accomplished. Don't let yourself beat your meat until you've done your homework or 50 sit-ups or taken out the garbage or cleaned the bathroom or something like that. You'll get a lot more done and you also might want to beat your meat less if you have to work for it. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

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