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Is it wrong to think that your ex-bf is a better than your

current bf?(note ex was first kiss)

-- = annoynmoa

It's not wrong to think that if your exbf is better than your current boyfriend. If your exbf was better, it's wrong to think anything but! -- Eleanor Roosevelt



my friend is really boring. she thinks that we are best

friends, and shes a really sweet kid. but she's stupid, she doesn't

understand any of my jokes, and after every other word she says "what?" i dont

want to stop being friends with her. am i missing the bigger picture?

-- = britneyspears

Maybe you can pass her off onto another of your friends who can stand her better. Or your younger sister. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



is it wrong to think that ur ex-bf is a better kisser than ur

current bf? note: last was first kiss

-- = alley

Not if your exboyfriend is a better kisser than your current one. It might be wrong to tell your current boyfriend though. But you could certainly try to teach him to kiss better. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Hello again, 'tis the girl who wrote the gargantuan post to

you approximately 2 weeks ago. I did what you told me, and the result

was... rather shocking, to say the least.

Instead of having an all-out fight with him, we sat down and had a

quiet discussion about my feelings, during which he finally confessed that

he doesn't love me, and probably never will. He actually still wants to

be with me, but doesn't want to hurt me because he knows he doesn't

feel the same way as I do. I know I shouldn't be crestfallen over it, but

I am. I asked him why he's still very affectionate with me, and after

heaving a long sigh, he only said, "Dita, I wish you were my sister."

And it just hit me like a wall. Somehow I felt like I'd been fucking my

brother the whole time we were together, which is disturbing because he

doesn't have a sister, and I don't have a brother. I wasn't sure if I

should laugh or cry.

Right now he seems very confused about his feelings, telling me I'm the

best friend he's ever had, and he doesn't want to lose me. But he

doesn't love me the way he'd like to love a romantic partner. Apparently

he's also been telling all of his friends that he thinks I'm "the most

beautiful person in the world", and that he's actually lonely right now.

The only thing that's preventing him from finding someone new is because

he's afraid he'd put her through the same thing he did to me (which he

more than likely will), and maybe a good portion of guilt because he

knows he's hurt me more than anyone else ever has. I wish he'd just find

someone new quickly, Ellie - then I'd have no choice but to move on.

Right now I can't. I'm still obsessing over everything we used to have,

and can't stop wishing that we'd get back together.

I know that I probably should just tell him to get out of my life

completely for the sake of my own sanity, but he's been heartrendingly sweet

to me, I can't hurt him, and he's literally the only friend I still

have around right now. I've thrown everyone and everything away for him.

Now I just feel foolish. But I've also learned to never give myself so

wholly to anyone else anymore. What I have is a very confused,

debilitated, guilt-ridden ex-boyfriend who's unsure of his own ability to be

committed to anyone. As for me, I'm just disorientated and stupid. Any

tips on getting over him, aside than getting drunk and having inebriated

sex with someone else?

-- = Dita

You shouldn't feel bad if you hurt him because he has hurt you. Just do what you need to do for yourself. If he gets a new girlfriend, you won't move on any better. Even if he would reveal that he's actually gay, you wouldn't feel better. Only a friendship-ending fight will bring you any closure, my dear. Everything else will leave hope that you can get back together. You can make up in a few months or years. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



I'm in a bit of a tough situation right now.. ya see, about 2

months ago, I got out of a 1 yr relationship with the first guy I've

ever really been with, in many ways. It was the second time we split up.

The first time he cheated on me with some dumb ho and told me he didn't

love me anymore, but then a week later he called me and cried over the

phone about how wrong he was.. So, stupidly, I took him back. I

lovingly embraced the shallow demon and ended up falling for him all over

again. So.. things were going pretty well for a while, but then one of my

"friends" (girl) came into the picture. Turns out she was trying to mack

his meat the whole time we were together, and voila, she succeeded when

we broke up the second time.

So, now, he went out with her for a week or two, starting on my

BIRTHDAY, but broke up with her after we messed around and got back together

over christmas vacation. Now he wants to be with me, but he doesn't want

it to be "official" yet. hmm... that makes me wonder..

so this is all fine and dandy, except now, while I'm waiting for him,

this other guy I became friends with during the whole break up thing, is

telling me he's in love with me and wants to be with me. He's really

dreamy and sweet... he has my kind of humor and we get along pretty well-

BUT- he has a long term girfriend who he's with right now, but they

broken up with several times already. What the hell is up with these boys,

and what do you suggest I do? Thanks. :)

-- = Jen

You should tell your exboyfriend that it doesn't matter if he considers it official or not, because you never will because he can't be trusted. You think of him as a person it is nice to hang out with and fornicate with, but you won't be stupid enough to invest any of yourself in someone like that.

Tell the second boy to shove it. Do you want to date the kind of boy who woos girls while he has a long term girlfriend? Don't even consider him until he breaks up with her, then still don't trust him. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Dear Eleanor,

What the heck is wrong with me?? I can't stop hurting myself! A few

weeks ago I tore the skin off my foot just because I tripped over

something. Just when that was starting to get better, I had gone skating

with two of my friends and I fell flat on my but and now my tailbone hurts

and now the cut on my foot is hurting AGAIN! This seems to happen a

lot. Whta should I do?

-- = Casey

You should be careful! -- Eleanor Roosevelt



My parents wont let me do anything with my friends but they

let my sister and brother are aloud to!

-- = Sam

If they gave you a reason such as "you need to spend more time studying," they are probably right. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Hi, I luv yer site! Since you've given so much advice, I

thought I'd give u some too after I found yer diary link. U wrote a long

thing about each of yer friends, but have u tried working out yer

problems with those friends by talking to them? Because it sounds like u just

mentiond them in yer diary.

-- = Jennifer

You're confusing me with Laura. Anyway, of course Laura has tried talking to them. I give her private advice. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



dear ellie,

My sister is 2 years older than me and I have a crush on one of her

friends. We'll call him Bob. I have known him for 8 years and we're

friends. But he doesnt know I like him. And even worse, he's going out

with another one of my sister's friends. We'll call her Celia. Now I feel

really bad about liking Bob because I have known Celia for even longer

than I have known him and we're really good friends, and I dont want to

betray her. But I cant help myself- I still like him and I'm still kind

of hoping that they'll break up.What should I do?

-- =

You should wait at least a year after Bob and Celia break up before you let anything happen. --Eleanor Roosevelt



ey Ellie. First, I'd like to thank you (and Laura.) The

advice columns are funny, made me smile for the first time in awhile.

Secondly, I need a little bit of practical help. Nothing with

relationships and shit. (Relationships, as a teenager, are pathetically

irrelevant to life)

I recently watched a good friend get hit by a train. Thing is, he lived

in a different town, and went to a different school, and everything.

What I need to do is create a kind of memorial of my own. At his school,

our friends are turning his locker into a kind of shrine, or memorial.

He has his own page in the yearbook, etc. I need to make a memorial, I

just need some ideas. You seem creative, could you help at all?

-- = Nikolay

I know you mean well by asking, but a memorial should come from your heart. Not mine. I'm cold-blooded for one thing. Anything you do that is meaningful for you is better than whatever I'd suggest. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



this is very imporant!!!!!! ok i went with this guy for like

6yrs stright and then his parents split up and we broke up and then i

go out with this other dude but i think that the boy who moved away

kisses better and i dont know how to tell him??? also the boy that move is

single and wants to go out and i dont know how to tell the guy that im

kinda going out with that i dont want to go out with him any more and

im very confused... plz help me im goin to go crazy here!!!!!

-- = confused

If you need to tell someone that they kiss better than someone else, the best time to do it is while you are kissing. You should ask your current boyfriend if he minds if you have two boyfriends. And if he has no, have two. If he says yes, then say "well then I pick the other one. Sorry." -- Eleanor Roosevelt




Hey Eleanor. I have a problem...

I've been stressed out over a number of things lately (namely my school

work). So the other day I cut my arm in a few places to relieve myself.

I really feel like I need to tell someone what I did, especially my

boyfriend but I don't know how he'd react. I know I need help but I'm not

sure how do get it. Any advice?

-- = Katie

Cutting isn't as bad as 7th Heaven (the worst tv show on earth. God is really mad about that show, but that's another story) makes it out to be. I know a lot of people who've cut themselves and been fine in the long run. You can tell your boyfriend if you want, but do it nonchalantly. And maybe take some easier classes in the future. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

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