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My ex-boyfriend dumped me last time because he didn't feel

like having a relationship but now he says he does.What should I do?

Thats why I am holding off I know I love him and only him. I am just

confused.I want to be with him ,I just don't want to get hurt.

-- = Candy

Well, he obviously doesn't love you. Whether you take him back or don't, keep that in mind, and don't expect much out of the relationship. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



dear ellie,

i can't stop eating vicks vaporub. it's so good. sometimes my friends

hate me for it and tell me to seek help, but i don't want help. i want

vicks. however, sometimes it makes me sick. love?

-- = laura

The Vicks website says that if you ingest Vicks, you should call the poison control center. Why don't you find something with the same consistency and flavor it with menthol? Or smoke menthol cigarettes? Or cloves? -- Eleanor Roosevelt



I can't decide if I should enter another relationship. I

finally came to terms with breaking up with my long-time girlfriend of

three years. The break-up process was even longer than the actual

relationship. I thought I loved her, but when I'm with her romantically, it

doesn't feel like it once did, not even close. There is another girl who

I'm very attracted to and her personality challenges me and interests

me as well.

WHATEVER SHOULD I DO???????????????????????????

-- = Pete

Date the new girl. The old one is over. By the way, a good rule of thumb is it takes twice as long to get over someone as you spent dating them. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



dear ellie,

seeing as homework is not a familiar concept to me, my life has failed

to integrate its essentiality into my brain. And thus I seem to be

failing several classes. whatever could the solution be?

-- = esme

If you don't mind failing your classes, then you don't have a problem. If you do mind failing your classes, then do your darn homework! -- Eleanor Roosevelt



It's my senior year, and compared to my other high school

years, I've been really depressed. See, one of my closest friends started

really cursing my name horribly but won't let me know what the hell I

did to piss him off. I try talking to him to figure it out, but he just

ditches me. My other best friend only thinks that I care about him,

because the other one's not around. But it's not like that. I'm in love

with him!! I've always have been since we were freshman, but I screwed

up. I want my old friend back, but I don't know what to do. And I don't

know how to tell the other one where he stands. Can you help w/atleast

one of my problems? If they made any sense at all...

-- = Creezdinah

Friend one either really hates you or likes pushing your buttons for attention. Ignore him and he'll either come back to you, if he still likes you, or won't, if he hates you. And that solves that. As for the second one, tell him the truth. That will dispel the notion that he is your backup friend. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



yeah, yeah. here i am writing to you again. remember when i

wrote you about scott the punk boy and my obbsessive-stalker crush? i

took your advice and stuck to my 'regular' girl look instead of trying to

be gothic. and he gave me attention. the wrong type of attention. for

the past few days he's been following me. bothering me. making fun of

me. i have notably long, beautiful hair that i take pride in above all

else. and he tried to cut a peice off. and he's been stealing my hair

scrunchies and thwacking me with them. love is so confusing. please help.

-- = hannah

Sounds like he likes you. It's working. Maybe he thinks you'd look better with short hair. I bet you would. Unless your hair is curly, because long curly hair is nice. Long straight hair is better when it is short straight hair. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



i really like this guy, but i have another guy who is my

lover who i'm kinda trying to ignore, but isn't quite happining, so who

should i choose?

-- = Sarah

He's your lover? And you're trying to ignore him? You baffle this lizard. Anyway, choose the guy you like over the guy you don't like. The answer is as obvious as the snout on my face. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



i am just very sad and confused because the only people

around me dont have a personality. and i thought you would be just the

person to come to for this because you deal with people like that every

advice column! (i.e- my name is bob i like pickles my boyfriend was eaten

by a mob of angry sheep) yes. why do people think that being random is

funny? why do they consider themselves unique when there are millions of

people who believe that their randomness makes them special? and

FINALLY- why do they self-proclaim themselves things like "weird" "random" or

"special" when they are really not as weird/random/special as they

think they are? how can we get rid of these people?

-- = lina

Amen. To get rid of these people, you have to poison their food supply. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



I want my own domain so I can have a journal there. I hate

having a journal with a normal journal site. any suggestions on how to

accomplish this?

-- = Angie

No. I use a journal site. I have a livejournal and I post some more stuff in it than I do on my column on mewing.net (but not much more, for I am lazy). I am old. Old old old. I don't know about these internet things. Someone handed me a livejournal and said "record your life for posterity," and being an obliging reptile, I did. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



my dad called me a bitch, what should i say to him?

-- = kristyn

Roll your eyes and ask if he can do better than that. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Eleanor, i tried to get over gus, but i can't. I want him so

bad sexually.

He's just so dreamy, and i know i'm in love, because i've never had

more than 9 orgasims by looking at just 1 person's pic before.

Please help me...or send me some nuddie pics of him please!!!

-- = Enora

Well, he's still gay. He doesn't have nudie pictures, and you don't need them if you're having 9 orgasms from clothed ones. With that many orgasms, you don't sound like you have a problem at all! Hahahaha. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Okay,This guy got his friend to ask me out, and i said no

because i think its dumb to get someone else to ask a person out for you.

but we still chill together and i like him, i want him to ask me out

but he still hasnt what should i do?

-- = Venessa

You ask him out. You want to go out with him. You know he will accept. It's dumb to have your friend ask out someone for you. It is also dumb to think that girls must be passive in the dating game. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



I hate life!

-- = Jess

Carbon monoxide is the best way to end it. You just fall asleep and don't wake up. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



Last night, which was a terribly cold and frigid night, I was

hanging around out at the bars. I had forgotten my new jacket in the

chevy....and the car was .5 miles away from where i was at (a bit too far

to travel to and from while drunken). I saw a guy, his appearance seems

a bit vague at the moment....but his hair was dark and he smiled a lot.

I slowly walked/stumbled over to him, asking if I could momentarily

borrow his warm Carhart jacket. He agreed with a HUGE smile, and I was

warm. I minded my own business for awhile, taking a few shots of my Jack

Daniels. I started laughing and i felt something creep up my spine, and

i got goosebumps. It was a great feeling. It was the guys big, strong,

powerful hand. He began reaching down further and fruther until he

reached a certain area. My started fingering me, while i held my bottle of

Beer. I was still laughing. The last thing i remember i was curled up

in a corner of the bar, which was dark and cold. The warm jacket

was gone, nobody was there, and my vagina was terribly red and sore

and my pants had dissapeared.

Am i still a virgin?

-- = Tina Turner

Probably. Hands don't deflower (they empower). I made up the empower part. But it's also a lot more likely that a hand could leave you red and sore than a man's junk would. I suspect you were just groped a lot. That man is a criminal and a tortfeasor. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



i am very much in love with my boyfriend and he is very much

in love with me and we talk about having sex alot and he is very honest

with me saying he wants to but he is afraid to take my virginity and he

doesnt want to rush me,i know he loves me and is not using me for sex i

just want to know what to do i am so afraid of messing up and him

hating me help please

-- = krista

You messing up? He's the one that should be worried. You can just be a cavity for him to fill with his junk if you want, and that counts as good. He's not going to please you and you will never have an orgasm, so he should be the one who is concerned. Also, that line about "afraid to take your virginity" is a pack of lies. If he's so afraid, tell him you'll go lose it to someone else then so he'll hump you. That is if you do want him to hump you. -- Eleanor Roosevelt



How do I stop one night stands? Yes willpower would most

likely help but I've only managed to say no a few times. I'm just rather

tired of having sex and moving on, and I don't like to "use" anyone but

I just seem to land myself into the same situation with the same type

of person each time...I just never end up being that attracted to their

personality just their body. I managed to have 1 long term

relationship and I loved it very much, it's far more comfortable than constantly

meeting new people.

-- = Rob

Tell people you have AIDS. That might not make you not want to have a one-night stand, but it will make people not want to have them with you. Or you could take it a step further and get AIDS. That would suck. You could cut your hair in a way that is so ugly people won't touch you, too. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

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