My Boyfriend of 2 years was just caught by my best friend
MAKING OUT WITH MY MOM. *there wasn't even beer involved!!* Please
help...how do i react?
-- Leese
Your mother sounds like one strange bird. That seems really strange. Your best friend is probably lying because she's jealous you spend more time with him than with her, especially if your boyfriend is under 17. --Eleanor Roosevelt
i have pimples
-- ran
Squeeze them to harvest the pus. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Dear Eleanor,
I rather enjoyed "Reds and Numbers". Eventually we put a spin on it,
scattering the cards face up on the floor and collecting the red ones
and the numbers with a large string of monkeys from our Barrel of
Monkeys. It passed the time nicely, and thank you for the suggestion.
This week's question involves revenge. I visited a distant city
and--since I'm hardly ever in said distant city--invited an old friend out
for ice cream. She told me she was busy building a cabinet, and when
pressed on the issue she claimed it might take a few days to build the
cabinet. It was an obvious lie, which I resent. I want to do something
terrible to repay her for this act. And since I've returned home, it
must be from a distance. The punishment need not suit the crime; feel
free to offer any degree or form of revenge you can conceive.
Thanks again!
-- a|ison
One of my favorite acts of vengenance and spite is the old revealing-of-the-teat. Show her your boob like you really mean it. Since she's far away, you might have to buy a webcam. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
ive been going out with this girl and she wants me to do her
in the butt...is it normal for chics to like it in the butt?!
-- jarad
Sort of. There are two reasons girls could want it in the butt, two reasons boys could want to give it in the butt, and three reasons boys could want to take it in the butt. They are (in outline form):
I. Reasons Girls Want it in the Butt
1. They get off on degradation and/or breaking the taboo.
2. There are a lot of nerve endings there.
II. Reasons Boys Want to Give it in the Butt
1. They get off on degrading and/or breaking the taboo.
2. A butt is tighter than a worn-out cunt.
a. This is why most people, after having been married for 10 years, try it.
III. Reasons Boys Want to Take it in the Butt
1. They get off on degradation and/or breaking the taboo.
2. There are a lot of nerve endings there.
3. The prostate.
That is why even some straight guys want their girlfriends to put on a strap-on and penetrate their bungholes. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
how can i befriend u and mew...
u seem to be...eherm, interesting people..
-- ngork
You can read my livejournal at http://www.livejournal.com/~ellie_roosevelt and leave me comments on my life. By mew, I assume you mean Laura, the mistress of this website. You can't befriend her. She isn't accepting any more applications. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
do you have a potion on how to get a guy i like to have sex with me?
if not, how else could i get him to bone me?
-- pining girl
You don't need a potion. Just give him a well-brewed beer. Then another one. Then another one. Pretty soon he'll be in your pants. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
ipcounter
problem = :o) i have no problems today. "why then.." i hear you cry
"are you writing in an advice column" I simply don't know. Possibly i do
have a problem, bordom. What does the average polar bear weigh? ...... i
dont know either but it breaks the ice!
-- Jess
What a terrible pick-up line. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Why won't Michael J Fox answer my fanletter? Do you know his
home address? maybe he moved...
-- Atlantima
Because he has Parkinson's disease. You will have similar trouble having your fan letter to the Pope answered. He's Canadian. Try sending it to the embassy. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Dear Eleanor, I'm having nightmares nearly every night
concerning high school. I'm scheduled to take a freshman advanced math class,
then go to a nearby middle school for eighth grade classes. Normally,
I'd be just in eighth grade, but I pushed myself and got into the next
year's math class. Do you have any advice on how I can stop the
nightmares and my own fears of being a social outcast?
-- Liz the Lizard
My fellow reptile, rest easy. In the high school social order, freshmen are at the bottom. It's only one class a day you have to deal with them, and since you'll be in the advanced math, you probably won't be around people who will give you trouble just for being smart, unless you come across as a trier. You'll still have your 8th grade people to have a social life. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i would just like your opinion on my situation. my boyfriend
of 4 months and i just broke up. we broke up due to the fact we hadnt
really spent a lot of time together or talking in the past few weeks.
yet everyday since we broke up we have spent the entire day together. and
the night we broke up we went out. everything is just like it was when
we were dating minus the making out. so i guess my question is do you
think we'll date again?
-- amy
Yes. And I'll go the extra mile and tell you how to make it happen. It won't do for you to bring it up to him. One of your (or his) friends has to say "You two are ridiculous! You broke up and spend every second together. Why don't you just start dating again?" And then you say that's a good question and ask him. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I am in love with 2 GREAT men and they both love me. Everyone
tells me to follow my heart but I don't think it even knows what it
wants. I am so confused.
-- Mel
Why settle for just one? It's not marriage. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
ipcounter
problem = My friend's mother is in a coma and I don't know how to talk
to her(my friend). Should I mention her mother while trying to be a
good friend or should I not? I don't want to make my friend uncomfortable.
What should I do?
-- Speechless
A simple "how's your mother doing?" once in a while is the polite thing to do. If your friend wants to talk, she will. If she says she'd rather not talk about it, don't ask again. You don't have to ask every time you talk to her, but once in a while is good. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
hey. i have three scars on my wrist form burning myself. i told every
one i was cooking and it was an accident. but now my mom is telling me
they look like herion tracks. this does not make me feel any better. and
now she wants me to put make up on them to cover them up. i hate this.
if she can not accept me as i am it is her problem and i should not
have to sugar coat who i really am. my body is my body. not her's. but
then i feel bad when she worries about all the cuts on my leg. i told her
i go them from working in the garden. but i didn't. i am a horrible
person. any help would be appriciated.
-- joan
You're really full of shit, Joan, and not because you mutilate yourself. I have had a lot of friends who've cut themselves in my day. It's that you get indignant that your mother won't accept you for who you are while you lie to her about everything you do. Maybe if you were honest about who you are, she could accept you. Maybe she couldn't. But until then, you have no right to be judgmental about it. Of course your mother worries. She's your mother. I worry about all my girls that I look after. So either hide your scars and cuts better or learn to deal with people questioning them. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
My bestfriend and I have known each other for about two
years. During those two years she has always talked to me about everything
and always come to me for advice. Lately we don't talk as much anymore
and she doesn't need advice from me. I always thought she was the one
who was dependant on me, but turn out i'm dependant on her. I find myself
somewhat obsessed with our friendship and keep switching moods back and
forth from anger to depression about it. Is this normal? Or have I gone
insane?
-- Rose
Those are normal reactions to someone breaking up with you. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I'm extremely afraid of spiders. Even those really tiny half
millimeter ones. I'll cut open a dead shark for science, I'll eat
chocolate covered grasshoppers, I'll jump off a plane with a parachute, I'll
do just about anything and I'm not really afraid of much, except
spiders. And Walt Disney. I also think Walt Disney is going to come back from the dead and rape me in my sleep. How can I get over my fears?
-- Alex
I knew a girl once who was afraid of spiders, so she made her screenname have something to do with spiders so she would have to learn to deal with them a little better. Sister Todd was afraid of phones, then he made his cell phone banner say "Friend" and now he's better. Try that. You have nothing to worry about with Walt Disney. You're not his type. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i just read in the archive that laura named someones car. I
would really like you to name my car eleanor roosevelt!
My car is a 99 Alero, Gold, with tan leather interior. It has four
doors, and really comfy seats. I have a stuffed Prairie Dog I got in
South Dakota in the glove compartment as a mascot. So whatever you pick,
that will be the Prairie Dog's name as well.
I'm so excited. I haven't been able to come up with any decent names.
Did you know Oldsmobile is going out of business? That means I'll
never have another Alero. I do love my car so. Anyway, thanks!
-- Without A Name
That sounds like a lovely name. I did know Oldsmobile was being discontinued, and I'm disappointed. For years, my driver had a 90 Olds Cutlass Ciera that was silver. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
hello eleanor! how are you, darling? anyways, i am trying to
seek revenge against the damn bastards who murdered. do you know who
killed me? was it that damn laura who runs the site? JUST
KIDDING...maybe....much help would be great!!!
*diamonds are a girls best friend*
-- Marilyn Monroe
Sweetie, you killed yourself. By the way, I just love the pictures Andy Warhol made of you. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Dear Ellie,
I have no idea why I'm writing to an alligatore but I figure it's worth
a shot.
You see There's these two guys each of which I have a problem with.
Guy #1: He's in my grade and he's my age and he's really cute. He's
also really funny and smart and athletic and I like him but He doesn't
like me the way that I like him, you know as more than a friend, so we
always end up fighting and yelling at eachother and even though it's
summer Since the first day of school he's all i thought about. What should I
do? Is it lust or love?
Guy #2: This guy is a senior. He has been on my mind, like the other
guy, all year and through the summer. During the school year he hit on me
but I was scared and didn't know how to react so I yelled at him,
unintentionally. I came to find out later that his long-time girlfriend was
sitting a few rows down from where we were seated (we were in the same
choir class). I don't know how to tell him I like him without ruining
our friendship, Do you have any Ideas?
-- Girl with 2guys in mind
Guy 1 doesn't like you. If you keep picking fights with him, you won't even be friends with you anymore. You're holding it against him that he doesn't like you as much as you like him. I've been on both ends of that situation, and it always ends in disaster.
Unless Guy 2 broke up with his girlfriend, you don't have a chance with him either. I think he was just hitting on you to make as many girls want him as possible. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
why hello ellie! my uncle lives on the edge of a golf course
in South Carolina.he feeds the alligators chickens. have you seen him?
much love,
Ta-Ta-Ta-Tina
-- Tina
No, I haven't. I seldom stray far from the Mississippi, the Ohio, or the Monongahela, and I wouldn't make a special trip for chicken. Now if he fed the alligators foxmeat, I might make the trip. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Okay...
I have this shoe.
It's a black canvis one with hello-kitty shoe-laces.
I have this other shoe, which has a cherry on the side, and is white.
They keep talking to me while I sleep!
What will I do?!
I'm afraid they might eat me!
-- Yahoo! GeoCities...
We should all be so lucky that they'd eat you. Alas, they won't. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
ipcounter
problem = The racoons ate my little chickletts I had outside in a cage.
Now im sad because my babies are gone...Should i replace them with
macaws? I really always wanted a bird that could screech bastard for me all
day...
-- Philip
Won't the raccoons eat the macaw? They live a long long time. Don't rush into that. Myna birds also can talk. Crows can talk if you split their tongues. Whatever you do, don't get an emu chick. They simply won't behave. Millicent, Susan's daughter, is an emu chick who really ruffles her mother's feathers. That girl goes a-whorin' most every night (keep in mind she's only 2). She got sent to a concentration camp in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, where I met her. There, she listens to hairmetal all day and wears a wig. Look!
She also listens to "Shake your tail feather," all the versions. And to her mother's absolute dismay, she is engaged to be married to a city pigeon. I try to teach her to do right, but that bird is stubborn, and all I get is heck for it. Don't get me wrong, I love Millicent. She's just a real clawful sometimes. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i need love i havent had a bf inover a year thats not like me whats my problem ?
-- Kendera McCrazy
Maybe you developed a stench or got ugly. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
well im pregnate and i dont know if i could tell its daddy
dat i am what do u think i should do
-- rachel
Go here. Then get yourself to a clinic. Sounds like the daddy might be Dave-id. Some people might thing you should tell the father before you abort it. I say nothing-doing! If he's not the type of person you don't think you can tell that you're pregnant, he has no business knowing about your abortion. Also, don't have sex with him anymore if he's that type of person. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I like this kid Ryan and he likes me too. Then I meet this
boy Stephen and he likes me and I like him. I don't know what to do. I
like both of them, should I just not like either of them and move on? oh
what to do what to do?
<3 rosey :D
-- Rose
If I gave you a candy bar, then someone else gave you a candy bar, would you throw them both away because now you had two? No way. You'd enjoy them both. So I suggest you enjoy both Ryan and Stephen's company. Scarlett O'Hara would. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
eleanor--
i started liking my close guy friend. let's call him bob, i suppose,
because this gets a little complicated. i was doing quite well dealing
with it for about a month or so, until one day he confesses he likes my
friend, sally, who moved away (this had nothing to with bob liking her).
now sally has moved very far away, and bob is still pining for her like
one of those car air-freshener trees. should i let my little crush
become dormant while bob mopes, or act on it somehow?
-- lola
Definitely let it lie dormant. He won't like you until he's done liking her, so you'll just blow your chance if you act too soon. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Hi. Is it safe to keep a tapeworm in your body? I mean, it's
a parasite.
Another problem is that all my friend talks about is this boy. She
talks about him 24/7. I don't know what to do. I tried changing the
subject, flinging food at her, and get her to gain weight(she's too skinny).
BUT NO, she won't listen! It's very, very annoying.
-Annoyed, bothered, repulsed.
P.S. - Eleanor, do u like frames or frameless sunglasses?
P.P.S. - Should I write a book?
-- anonymous 2003
It's not safe to keep a tapeworm in your body, but I don't know where else you could keep him. I like that you try to make your friend fatter. That's deliciously spiteful of you. Quit talking to your friend. Then when no one will talk to her, she'll quit talking about that boy. I like all sunglasses. You probably shouldn't write a book. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I've liked the same kid for 2 years. He's liked me off and on
but this year he really liked me and we had an awesome friendly
relationship. My best friend had always commented on him but had been going
out with another person for a long time. When I had finally gotten this
boy to really like me, my best friend admitted that she had liked him
for a long time, told him, and he decieded to dump me for her. I was
heartbroken, and my bestfriend saw nothing wrong with it. It killed me to
see them together but I tried to support my best friend and I told her
that all I wanted was to see my the two people I cared most about in the
world happy. Well, its been six months since our break-up, my best
friend found a new guy, and I have kind of gotten into a new relationship,
but my Ex-Boyfriend called me last night and told me that he really
missed me and wanted to see me. Hes going to a different school than me in
September and I just wanted to get over him but a part of me sti
ll loved him. Now here is my question: Do I go and see him because I
would die for him to love me again, or do I stick with my current
boyfriend who I thought was my best friend. PLEASE HELP!!
Thanks,
Sarina
-- Sarina
Wow, your best friend is really backstabbing. But that's ok cause it sounds like you have it in you to be too. You shouldn't have told your friend that you just wanted her to be happy. You should have called her on being a rotten friend and a bitch. The exboyfriend is a jerk for jerking you around like this. There is only one circumstance under which you should go see him, and that's vengenance. Do it get back at your "friend," and do it to break your exboyfriend's heart. But let your current boyfriend in on the plan, it's the only proper thing to do. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
If i rolled around on a couch kissing my boyfriend(just
kissing) am I still a virgin?
-- Stacey
Yes. You are also still a virgin if you do that naked. You are also still a virgin if you perform oral sex on him or he on you. You are also still a virgin if penetrates your bunghole (though he's not). You are also still a virgin if he penetrates your cunt with anything other than his, to put it delicately, junk. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
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thanks diaryland