i really like my friend, but the problem is that she is a
girl. She does not like me and i dont know how to get over her. Have any
ideas?
-- Liz
Get her drunk. You'd be surprised what people will do when they're drunk. She might not talk to you in the morning though. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I would like to make it public that George W. is not the
anti-christ. As Satan I wouldn\'t touch that man with a ten foot pole,
theres no way he's related to me and if he were, I'd kill myself and turn
Hell into a ski resort.
(I may sound a bit extreme but seriously--how would you react if
everyone thought he was YOUR son.)
-- Lucifer/Satan
Satan, I rebuke thee. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i am a jackass. let me explain, I kicked my best friend
(violently). I mean, I was PMSing and he pulled down my pants so I was
pretty angry when I did this. But its fucked up all the same, and he no
longer wants to be friends. I'm thinking there is nothing I can do to
regain his friendship, but what do you think?
-- jackass
First, you should quit acting sorry. Second, demand that he apologize to you for pulling down your pants. Because unless you and your friends have strange rituals, that crosses more lines than kicking does. Once you're established that he has wronged you as much if not more than you wronged him, you can agree to forget about the whole thing. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Hi. Hopefully, I\'ll get a reply. Anyway, I'm so much in
love with this high school teacher. I've just graduated from this high
school. I didn't tell him how I feel because I don't want to be
embarrassed when I see him again (that's if i ever see him again) But then
it\'s so hard to pass my summer because every single day, all I've been
thinking is him, whether it'd be flashbacks or fantasies that I've
created myself. I really don't know what to do. I want him to know how I
feel yet I don't know how to say it out. I also want him to be my
friend; he used to be very caring about me but for some reason, he started
treating me coldly (i duno why, maybe he figured?). It IS kinda WEIRD
to be friends with a teacher after one have already left the high
school...so, I don't know what to do. What should I do?
-- Carmen
If you're interested in getting him fired, definitely pursue your fantasy. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I have one problem, and four personal questions, as I have
never met a real gater.
Problem: I have a younger sibling. They have driven me over the edge
years ago, yet still manage to take a hammer to my last nerves. I would
like to throw them out a window, or take a more amusing option like
moving without telling them/shipping them off to boarding school. The only
problem is my parents/occational short periods of sisterly love. What
should I do about this?
Question 1: How do you feel about crocidiles?
Question 2: Did you know otters eat gaters...?
Question 3: If I had a pet fox I loved, and you came to my house, would
you eat the fox?
Question 4: As I was reading through the advice thingies, I began to
think the whole eating fox-meat thing sounded kinda apealing. Does fox go
good in pasta sauce, or with any other meats?
Thank you, have a nice life.
-- Fazztastical
Problem: Do what kids have done for years to deal with annoying younger siblings. Lock yourself in your room and don't come out for 5 years.
Question1: They're like family to me.
Question2: No, I didn't. I eat otter sometimes though.
Question3: Foxes aren't happy as pets. Foxes are only happy as gatorfood. I'd be doing it a favor.
Question4: Fox goes great with everything. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
My best friend has confessed his love for me. We have been
friends for years. We live with two other roommates who can't stand him.
I told him no way, nothing will ever happen. He has excepted that...
He's moving to New Orlens (from atlanta) and has invited me to go.
I've always wanted to live there, and I love to just pick up and go, you
know? Only problem is psuedo boyfriend that I happen to be very much in
love with, and know he's all wrong for me.
Do I stay here and try to see where things are going to go with the
boyfriend? Or do I go for a fresh start, and move to New Orlens?
-- Season
New Orleans is a great city. I recommend it. But do you realize you can move there by yourself? You don't have to wait for someone to invite you to live there. It will be awkward if you go live with your best friend, especially if you leave your boyfriend for him. (Not necessarily leave as in breakup with, but leave as in leave). But since he's not right for you at all, and you realize this, I don't think you really love him, but he's just comforting to have around. I suggest you break up with him and go to New Orleans yourself. Quit being so dependent on men. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Dear Ellie,
Well my dear, I need advice on giving advice...
Any tips?
-- Frank
It helps to be smart and have lots of experience living life. I haven't found having a toothy grin to hurt either. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
No one understands my beliefs and opinions about the
government and politics in general. Apparently, I am unpatriotic for raising
certain questions about my country's leader's actions. Do I just shake
my head and keep my comments to myself?
Oh yeah, did you happen to be at the war protest in DC...January 18th?
-- Ally Gator
Get new friends. Supporters of Bush don't deserve the comfort of human (or reptile if your name isn't just a coincidence) companionship. No, I wasn't at the protest. I'm cold-blooded you know. I spend my winters in the South. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Do you ever get tired of the same old, same old, questions?
Ever wonder why everyone's life is centered around love, relationships,
cars, mental problems, etc.? Uh...that didn't sound quite right, did
it? Oh well.
Sarcasm and insanity rocks on. Yeh.
-- Renee
Yes, I do get tired of those questions, but I get less of them than Laura did. At least when people ask me about love advice, it's "I love my brother!" or "I love my teacher!"
No, sarcasm doesn't rock. Sarcasm is old, almost as old as me, but not half as interesting. It's way too easy to do, and no one who has anything worth saying uses sarcasm to say it. It's a cowardly way to criticize and sloppy way to poke fun. Sarcasm is a bad habit that should be broken. It's a crutch. Since this is an advice column, here's some advice. Quit being sarcastic. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i want a horse
-- gfndxgb
Laura's friend Melissa is a horse, and it's not all fun and games. Sure, it's cute when she canters, nice when she neighs, and good when she gallops, but horses are expensive to keep in champagne and oats. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
dear mew and elenor,
I know this isnt my problem, but i am on vacation, with my two cousins,
James and Niel. Now, I'm only 13, so i'm not very old. Neil is 14,
and a nice, quiet person. James, is 16, and he's fit, tall, and
agressive. now, today started out good, all sitting around the house,
having a good time. Neil was outside in the back, checking the tempurature
of the pool, when James comes outside and was going to push neil in the
pool. i kind of told him not to, and he laid off. Then he grabbed the
hose and was going to spray us, so neil and i ran in the house, James
still outside. So I kind of locked the door behid me, and stuck out my
tounge, and i told niel to lock the front. He didn't, and the next
thing I know, Neil locks himself in the bathroomand james busts the knob,
and jumps on niel, and starts pounding him about locking him out. i
grabbed his arm and told him to get off niel, but he wouldn't listen.
so i was trying to get james off neil, and neil was trying to stay
alive, (james had him in a headlock), so i grabbed james's finger and
twisted them back, really really far. i dont think i broke them, but i
know he got hurt. Now, he left, and neil wasnt bloody, but bruised. I
felt really really awful cuz i was the one who locked James out and
Neil got the beating for it. Now, James knows, but i still feel really
bad. So, my question, what should i do about this? I'm frightend ot
could happen again, and Neil never deserves it. Please be serious.
Thanks, rachael.
-- Rachael
James does this because he thinks he can get what he wants because he's the biggest and most violent. So you need to just become the most violent. A thirteen year old girl with a knife can be pretty intimidating, as long as he thinks you'll use it. And why not use it? He has no qualms about beating up people. I'm not saying you should kill him, or even puncture his skin, but a fleshwound will probably show him you mean business. You also can't let on that you don't want to be stabbed back. He'd be a big 16 year old stabbing a little 13 year old girl. That's pretty pathetic, and let him know it. I'm not sure where you can get a knife, since I'm an alligator and have teeth. But get the knife, nonetheless. Seriously. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
My old boyfriend is starting to ask me out again. I don't
like him becaus he's a player and treats me like shit. HELP!
-- Jen
Keep being meaner to him until he gets the picture. Or just ignore him. Unless you hate him. Then you could always lead him on for a long time to make him suffer. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Wow. I am a whore who hangs out on your local street corner
who wears too much makeup, fishnets, and skanky skirts. i am very fat. i
think i am gothic. my name is sam. i am attracted to you. lets go have
sex...
-- Sam
Sorry, Sam, I'm still married to Franklin, rest his soul. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
is it wrong to date you brother in laws cousin?
and if you like two guys how do you just pick one?
-- Kay
No, that's not wrong at all. Why should you pick just one guy? If you like them both and they both like you, date them both. It's not like you're marrying both. People used to date a lot of different people. Don't tie yourself down. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Theres this guy his name is Steven, hes always talking to me
and my friend... I don't really like him at all but hes always with his
best friend who I really like, I just want to hang out with his friend
not him. But I really don't want to hurt anyones feelings what should I
do?
-- Heidi
Get your friend to talk to Steven more so you can talk to the best friend more. If your friend wont' willingly agree, bring up topics of conversation that they have in common but you and the best friend don't, and it will happen naturally enough. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I really like this one guy at school. He's sweet, caring, and isn't a
stuck-up jerk like the rest of the guys at school are.
He's the only guy I ever really liked, and I think he likes me too. We
keep giving each other little hints and stuff... but I'm afraid I may
just be immagining it.
I really, really wanna ask him out before one of those obnoxious snobs
get to him...
But I'm afraid if I do tell him, he's say he doesn't feel the same, and
won't want to be my friend anymore.
I'm not sure if I want to risk my friendship on this...
But what if he *does* like me?! >.<;
...What should I do???
Oh, and did I mention I'm the most shyest (is that a word?) girl in the
world?
Seriously, I am!
...Need...help....
Pwease?
-- Luna
Keep in mind that your friendship isn't like other friendships. It's a "this is what I'll settle for if this is what I can get," kind of thing, which isn't that bad to lose. It's based on the idea that there might be something more. If there might not be, then it's not really based on anything. So you can either go for it and tell him how you feel or wait around, maybe forever. There is a certain amount of fun in waiting around forever and having a big crush, so that's ok too. Beware. If you ask him if he likes you before telling him how you feel about him, he might give an answer that is more toward 'no' than he really means just to protect himself. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
my boyfriend just broke up with me last week...i keep getting told that
he wasn't worth my time anyway, and i should just forget about him. the
problem, you ask? well..it's so hard for me to let go..i cared about
him alot. i loved him, and i've never loved anyone in the same way...this
was a pure love..not a lust-filled love, or any of that stuff. and he
broke my heart. how can i start to get over him, and stop crying at
everything, just because it reminds me of him. i just want to be able to
enjoy the memories we made...not cry forever! please help!
-- amanda
The people who tell you to get over it might not mean it, but they probably don't know what else to say. That wouldn't stop me from holding it against them though. Someone once told me that it takes twice as long as the relationship to get over someone. So if you dated for 6 months, you will be over him in a year. In my experience, this has been true. So why bother to rush things? Go listen to sad songs and cry like it's going out of style. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I'm insain
-- Chicken Cutlet
No you're not. Insane people are interesting and at the very least, a little original. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i suck ;\
-- asdf
Amen. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Help! I am in love with a chicken named Ziggy. I have this
problem, because he is a chicken and I am a human....but we are so in
love! What should I do?
-- Kis Mor Chikn
Quit thinking of him as a chicken. Start thinking of him as a cock. Problem solved. -- ELeanor Roosevelt
I have never had sex but i want it. Will you have it with me?
I am a ho, long hair, standing here naked. My vagina is really cute. So
are my breast. Will you?
-- Chelsee
I'm still married to Franklin, rest his soul. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i shat on my wall. how do i clean it?
-- robby joseph
Turpentine. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i love my boyfriend intensely, but i keep hitting on our
mutual friend rory...i can't stop thinking of him like that...any ideas?
rory's also dating a mutual friend and is already dealing with thinking
of some other girl named marissa... we both hit on eachother though
actually...does that mean hes just an irresistable manwhore and i should
continue flirting? or not give him the satisfaction of one more person
lusting after him and just be the man whores friend?
-- gaelyn
The end of your question is good advice. I didn't think of that. I was going to say that you propose to all your friends to just fornicate with each other all the time. Some real polyamorous group lovin'. But your own advice might be better. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
ipcounter
problem = hello again.... i think i am gonna give up? would you say
thats a bad thing?
-- bloob
Please do. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
ipcounter
problem = You make me laugh so much!
PS I have three nipples.
-- Mac
Well send me a picture of those nipples! Three! In all my days, I've never seen such a thing. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
RECENTLY MY BOYFRIEND HAS DUMPED ME AND HE WAS VERY TIGHT
WITH ME LAST NIGHT MY BEST FRIEND ZOE CALLED ME AND SAYS BY THE WAY RYAN
HAS FINISHED YOU HALF AN HOUR LATER I GET A CALL OF MY FRIEND AND SHE
SAYS RYAN SAYS HE WOULD GO BACK WITH YOU BUT HE IS GOING WITH ZOE AND HE
HAS SCORED WITH HER WE WERE TOGETHER FOR A WEEK BEFORE WE SCORED WHAT
SHALL I DO?
-- ALEX
Find someone new who is better looking and make him jealous. If he's richer too, you can get some new sunglasses out of the deal. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
I'm in love with a girl. How do I tell her?
-- Akito
I've been told that "may I jizz in you?" is the most effective way to handle that. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
There is this guy who I have like for seven months and I
thought he had feelings for me for a small time. Now, my best friend just
told me it was a joke for him to like me. I wanna yell at him, but he's
also my really good friend and I don't wanna ruin our friendshi, but I
want to let him know how he hurt me.
P.S- He knows I like him.
-- Bec
Yell at him all you want. He already ruined the friendship. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
archives
thanks diaryland