i love my brother..in a sexual way...i cant tell my parents
because i am afraid what they might think...what should i do?
-- Miss Tard
Last column it was cousin-lovin', and now it's brother-lovin'! Mewing.net sure attracts some strange creatures. Here's what you should do, assuming stopping loving your brother is right out. Get yourself fixed! There are reasons that it's taboo to fornicate with your siblings.. reasons that involve recessive genes. So if you're going to fornicate, get yourself fixed so you don't wind up with any kids with tails! -- Eleanor Roosevelt
who will have sex with me???
-- clint
Sister Todd probably will. Depends how cute you are. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
dear eleanor--
i have a fear of commitment. every time a guy tells me he loves me, i
taper off and dump him. what can i possibly do about this?
-- luna
I really don't see the problem with that. Do try to get some gifts, especially sunglasses, out of the menfolk before you leave them though. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
i was just wondering if i should take your advice. what do
you think?
-- tim
Yes, I think you should. I'm a wise old gator, seasoned with years of expierence of living on the bayou and swimming up the Mississippi and the Ohio to Pittsburgh to spend my summers. I take a boat anymore, because I'm both wealthier and older than I used to be. So I know how this world works, and if you know what's good for you, you'll heed my advice. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
my friend is a poser. and she wont stop posing. what can i do
to make her stop her insessant annoyance!!!
-- BEN Dover
Won't stop posing, you say? Is she a model? Laura's roommate last year was a model, but even she stopped posing every now and then to fly her airplane or brush her clear beard. Maybe you should buy your friend an air plane or teach her how to stroke her clear beard. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Theres this invisible guy guy named bob with a huge knife
chasing me saying he loves me
-- Bob
I assume you meant gay guy, sweetie. Anyway, you should tell the invisible Bob that a guy named Clint (see the advice above) wants someone to have sex with him, so he should look into that.
There I go, assuming you want to get rid of this guy. But since he's invisible, you might just want to know whether he's attractive enough to fornicate with. You should throw an egg at him. There's an old saying we have in New Orleans that goes "egg on the invisible, makes 'em miserable." Miserable cause you can see 'em! -- Eleanor Roosevelt
isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
isn't it frighfully good to have a dong?
it's swell to have a stiffy!
it's devine to have a dick!
from the tiniest little tadger
to the world's biggest prick!
so let's hear it for your willy or john thomas!
hoooooray for your one-eyed trouser snake!
your piece of pork
your wife's best friend
your percy or your cock!
you can wrap it up in ribbons!
you can stick it in your sock!
but don't bring it out in public
or they'll put you in the lock
and you won't a-come a-back!
-- Lil' Fiend
Ah, that sounds like a little ditty you tossed up recently in the Caribbean, if I'm not mistaken. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
dear ellie,
can you please tell me how to brew up a lust potion to induce someone
to have a fling with me in prague? love i don't want. just extended
lust, maybe something that will last 4-5 weeks. thonks.
-- laura of mewing.net
Absinthe seems to be working pretty well for you! Hahahaha. Seriously though, you just need the musk of one musk ox, and use it to taste. It's one of the simpler recipes in my book, but one of the least used. It seems no one knows any musk oxen anymore. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
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thanks diaryland